Blinded by Love
by jessmuir0407
Summary: What happens when Castle see's something he wasn't meant to see and everything he thought was real, wasn't? Can Kate fix things before it's too late or is this the end for our dynamic duo?
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note: This is literally just an idea that popped into my head this morning and wouldn't go away so I had to get it down. Based somewhere in the middle of season 4. Hope you like it!_

Chapter 1:

It's been two weeks since he last saw her.

Two weeks since he decided to pay her visit when he got a case of writers block, knowing that she would still be there working on their current case, two weeks since he stopped at her favorite café to get her favorite coffee, two weeks since he walked through the doors to the precinct and towards the elevator, a grin on his face, oblivious to what lies before him.

It's been two weeks since his entire world came crashing down around him.

Two weeks earlier…

_Castle had fallen slightly behind his deadline on his newest novel in the past couple of weeks, so when they finally got a confession out of their killer and the only thing left was paperwork, he excused himself to go home and get a couple of chapters typed out and sent off to Gina. _

_Two hours later, he sat there, a blank screen, unable to think of anything but Kate. _

_He had started to see a change in her the past couple of weeks, little signs that she was getting closer to being ready to dive into things with him. _

_First there was the tiger incident. Sure, at first they had some difficulties, but eventually they found their stride, just like they always do and by the end of the night, Kate was making comments about being handcuffed to him again, but next time without the tiger. _

_Then there was Kevin and Jenny's wedding. Since Alexis got a better offer than going to a wedding with her dad, Kate became his plus one and they had a blast, laughing, drinking, and dancing the night away in each other's arms. He had never seen her so… carefree, so happy and it warmed his heart. _

_Finally, there was the fairytale case and his mother's one woman show. He thought for sure that after they got called back to the precinct, knowing that Martha had already finished her play, she would decline the invite to come back for a private showing, but surprisingly, she accepted and had even held his hand. _

_So yeah, things were looking up, and that was why he decided to go back to the precinct, in hopes that they could continue on this encouraging path and maybe he could convince her to come out to dinner with him, not as friends, not as partners after a closing a case, but as Rick and Kate, two adults who clearly had feelings for each other and were just waiting for the right moment to jump in together. _

_So after stopping for the her usual coffee in hopes of persuading her with caffeine, he made his way into the precinct and up to the homicide department, ready for the first day of the rest of their lives. _

_When he stepped off of the elevator, his eyes immediately found her, standing by her desk. _

_God she was beautiful. The way her hair fell in soft curls around her shoulders, the smell of cherries that he loved so much, the way her eyes would crinkle when she smiled, he was so in love with her. _

_He was about to continue to her desk when he saw that she wasn't alone. There was another man there standing besides her and she let him help her into her coat. Frozen in place, he watched as this man pulled her hair out of her coat, watched as Kate turned and smiled her dazzling smile at him and then she kissed him. She leaned in and kissed him, he didn't kiss her, she kissed him. _

_Castle felt like he had just been punched in the gut. He couldn't breath, he could feel the sting of tears in the back of his eyes and he felt like he was going to vomit. _

_Turning on his feet before they could see him, he threw the two coffees he had in hand in the trash can and made his way to the stairs, not wanting to be their any longer than he had to. _

That was two weeks ago and he hasn't left the loft since, hell he has barely left his office. He knows that his mother and his daughter are worried about him, worried about the fact that he has barely written anything, rarely eats, and spends the days holed up in his office drinking, but he honestly can't bring himself to care. He's wasting away to nothing, but all he can think about is how she kissed him.

She was supposed to be waiting for him, he was the one that loved her, he was the one that waited around for her, who risked his life time after time. She told him that she had to solve her mom's murder before she could have the kind of relationship she wanted, before that wall came down. At the time he assumed that she meant with him, but boy was he wrong.

He could hear the faint knocking coming from the front door and he was content to just ignore it, wait until they gave up and went away, but when they continued to knock, he stood up with an angry huff and made his way to the front door.

"Hold your horses, I'm coming." Castle said angrily.

Opening the door, he was surprised to see Lanie, Esposito, and Ryan standing in the hall arms crossed, looking pissed off. Their expressions only faltered when they took in his appearance.

He obviously hasn't shaved in a couple of days, he reeked of alcohol and by the looks of it he didn't look like he had been eating or sleeping judging by the way he was swimming his clothes and the dark bags that resided under his eyes.

"You look like hell, Castle." Esposito said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, thanks for the update, now if you don't mind, I'm not really up for company." Castle said as he tried to shut the door.

"Nuh uh writer boy, you have some explaining to do." Lanie said as she pushed past him into the loft followed by Ryan and Esposito.

Castle knew that there was no point in arguing. He had already had quite a lot to drink and he knew that Esposito and Ryan would have no problem taking him, hell he was pretty sure that even Lanie could take him right now.

"What the hell is wrong with you writer boy?" Lanie asked, her arms crossed, standing in front of him as he sat down on the couch.

"You just disappear, don't answer any of our calls." Ryan adds.

"Beckett is miserable, she looks so lost without you, she doesn't eat, doesn't sleep. She looks like a spitting image of you right now." Esposito snapped.

Castle just chuckled as he took another sip of scotch from the glass in his hand, which made the two detectives and the ME in front of him even angrier.

Ryan snatched the class out of his hand and brought it into the kitchen, dumping the remainder of the amber liquid into the sink before returning to the living room.

"Hey! I wasn't done with that!" Castle complained.

"You are until you tell us what the hell is going on and you better start talking or I'm going to let these two knuckle heads beat it out of you." Lanie said, nodding towards Ryan and Esposito.

Castle looked at the three people standing before him and he must have decided that he had no choice but to explain because he rubbed his hands over his face before looking up at them with a sigh.

"I can't take it anymore." Castle said.

"What can't you take anymore?" Ryan asked.

"I can't handle being strung along by _her_." Castle said, venom dripping out of his voice when he said her.

"What are you talking about, my girl is crazy about you." Lanie said, her brow furrowing in confusion it was obvious.

"That's where you're wrong, Lanie." Castle slurred.

"What are you talking about Castle? It's clear as day how she feels about you." Esposito said.

Castle just shook his head no.

"Start from the beginning, Castle." Lanie said, realizing that there was something that they were missing that was causing the writer to think that Kate wasn't absolutely crazy about him.

"Did you know that I told her I loved her? It was when she was shot, right before she passed out. I admit that I didn't have the best timing, but all I could think about was that she was going to die and she didn't know how I felt about her, I never told her how I felt about her, so I told her. Only when she woke up, she told me that she didn't remember any of it. At first, I believed her, but the next time I asked her, she clearly deflected and answered no a bit to quickly and then changed the subject. That was when I knew that she wasn't being totally honest with me, especially after the sniper case we had. You don't have PTSD episodes if you don't remember the shooting. But I let it go, decided that she was probably trying to come to terms with it, would tell me when the time was right, especially after the swings." Castle said.

The two detectives and the ME shot each other confused glances.

"The swings?" Ryan asked.

"After she came back from her little disappearing act, she came to one of my book signings. I was pissed at her that she just disappeared for three months and I tried to walk away, but let's face it when have I ever been able to say no to her, so we went over to the park that was nearby and sat on the swings and talked. She explained to me how after her mom died, she built up this wall to protect herself and until that wall came down, until she solved her mother's murder, she couldn't have the kind of relationship that she wanted. Thinking that she was talking to me I decided to wait, decided that she was worth it and we would work together to bring down the man behind her mom's murder. I was willing to wait for her. I guess I misinterpreted her though because she wasn't talking to me when she was talking about having a relationship. I thought we were getting closer, that all the little touches, all the little things she said were signs that she was getting closer to being ready for a relationship, that maybe she was realizing that she didn't need to do this alone, that she didn't need to solve her mom's murder to be in a relationship. And I guess she did realize that, but just realized that it wasn't me she wanted the relationship with." Castle said.

"What do you mean?" Lanie asked.

"I went to see her that night. I was trying to write, but all I could think about was her, all I could think about was how it felt to have her in my arms when we were dancing at the wedding, the look of pure joy and innocence when she was laughing, so I decided to go pay her a visit, knowing that she was still there working on the case except when I got there I saw her. I saw her kiss him. I don't know who it was, but I didn't wait around to find out. I got out of there as fast as I could and haven't been back since, I won't go back. It hurts too much to be in love with her so fucking much, to know that she knows I'm in love with her yet watch her lock lips with some stranger, some guy that doesn't love her nearly as much as I do. So I left." Castle said with a shrug.

All the previous anger Esposito, Ryan, and Lanie had immediately disappeared and was replaced with compassion and understanding for the shell of a man before him. He had merely been pushed too far, faced rejection one too many times and it pushed him over the edge.

This, this was all on Beckett.

After apologizing for barging in on him and promises to get together at the Old Haunt the following weekend, they left the loft, their hearts aching for the writer and the look of pure pain on his face at losing the woman he loved.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

For the next week, Beckett felt like an outsider. They didn't have many cases and spent the majority of the week doing paperwork, which would have been fine if the guys weren't giving her the cold shoulder.

They would only talk to her if they had to and even then they would refer to her as Detective Beckett with a cold tone to their voice.

Every day when lunch rolled around, they would leave without a word, never asking if she wanted to come along or offering to bring something back to her.

It was bad enough that Castle had just disappeared, but now her boys were giving her the cold shoulder too.

By Friday, she couldn't take it anymore. Not having a case, the boys took their paperwork into the break room, obviously wanting to get as far away from her as possible. Whenever she walked into the break room to refill her coffee, they would stop talking about whatever they were talking about and would just sit their quietly waiting for her to leave.

Needing someone to talk to after the third time they did this, Kate decided she was going to go pay Lanie a visit, see if she knew anything about what was going on.

When she walked into the morgue, Lanie was working on her paperwork and didn't even look up when she walked in, which was strange since she had to know it was her seeing as how there were no open cases the ME was working on and Kate was the only one who would visit her in the morgue for unrelated case talk.

"Hey Lanie." Kate said as she made her way across the morgue, hoping up onto one of the empty tables.

"Detective Beckett." Lanie said in the same cool tone the boys used.

Kate's head snapped up to look at her friend. She was giving her the cold shoulder too.

"You're mad at me too? What the hell did I do?" Kate asked shakily, the tears starting to flow. She literally had no one, her entire team seemed to turn their back on her.

Lanie looked up to see the usually strong detective crying and she couldn't help, but take pity on her. She might be a complete idiot, but she was still her friend.

"We went to see Castle and let me tell you, he looks even worse than you. He has lost so much weight and from what I've heard from Alexis and what I saw, it looks like he just sits in his office and drinks all day, barely gets any sleep, rarely eats." Lanie said.

"Well, it's not my fault. He's the one who left." Kate said even as she felt a bit of worry in the pit of her stomach.

"Nuh uh girl. This is all your fault." Lanie said which caused Kate's head to snap up, her expression filled with anger.

"How the hell is this my fault? Everything was going great between us and then he just up and leaves just like he always does. I should have known that's what he would do after he left with Gina." Kate snapped.

"What do you expect him to do girl? Every time he thinks he has a chance with you, you bring some other guy into the picture. First it was Demming, then it was Josh, and now it's whatever guy Castle saw you kissing a couple of weeks ago." Lanie said.

"What?" Kate said, the color draining from her face.

"Ah, now we are getting somewhere. First of all, I'm going to ignore the fact that you've been getting your freak on with someone and didn't tell me because that's not the point right now. The point is that Richard Castle is in love with you and don't even try to deny it. He told us about the conversation you two had on the swings, how he assumed that when you said you couldn't have the kind of relationship you wanted you meant with him, especially after he told you he loved you and don't even try to deny it. Even he knows that you remember." Lanie said.

"He knows that I remember?" Kate asked, surprised.

"Girl, give that man some credit, he knows you better than anyone, sometimes even better than yourself, he knows when you're lying and he isn't stupid, he knows that you don't get PTSD episodes if you don't remember something, but because he loved you he decided that he would wait, that he would let you come to him when you were ready. You know he thought you were ready? With everything that's happened between the two of you the past few months, he thought that you were finally reaching a place where you realized that you were ready for a relationship and assuming that you wanted it with him, he came to see you at the precinct only to find you making out with some stranger. That's why he left. He has been waiting for you for so long and he is so in love with you and then he finds you kissing some other guy when he should be the one you're kissing. I thought he did something, that he was to blame for this, but all that man is guilty of his loving you with all of his heart. This one is on you." Lanie finished.

"Oh my god, how could I have fucked this up so bad? What do I do?" Kate asked.

"What you should have done a long time ago. Talk to him. I don't know who this guy is that your seeing and I don't even want to know who he is because girl he isn't the right guy for you. The right guy for you is the guy that broke down your door when your apartment blew up, the right guy for you is the guy that punched out a sniper trying to kill you, who almost froze to death with you, who pulled the wires out of a dirty bomb for you. The right guy for you is the man who was willing to jump in front of a bullet for you despite the fact that he has a daughter and mother at home, a daughter and mother who were right there in the crowd and would have had to watch him die had he taken that bullet, but I can't tell you how to live your life." Lanie said.

"Lanie, it's complicated." Kate said.

"Well, it's time you uncomplicated it because this isn't fair to Castle. Either you jump in or you let him go. There's no in between."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

As Kate rode the elevator up to Castle's loft, she had no idea what she was going to say.

When she gave him that speech on the swings, she was talking about him. She did want that relationship with him, and she still did, but then she met Mark and just like Demming, just like Josh he was safe. She had admitted to herself that she loved Castle and that she was ready for that relationship she had been talking about and that scared her because she knew that if they took that step, he would be it for her so when Mark had started to talk with her at the bar, she took the plunge with him instead, just so she could have something safe while she tried to figure out what she wanted with Castle. They had gone on some casual dates, nothing too serious, they hadn't even slept together, he was just safe, she never meant for Castle to find out about him, but now that he did, she might have ruined it all and that's why she was here.

Lanie was right, she either had to jump in with him or let him go because what she was doing to him wasn't fair. Now she just wished that she knew which one she was going to choose.

Making her way to his door, she took a deep breath and knocked on the door before she lost her nerve. At first, she thought that nobody was home because she stood their for a full minute and couldn't hear anything on the other side of the door, but right when she was about to turn around and run back to the safety of her apartment, the door swung open to reveal Castle, or what used to be Castle.

She watched as a brief flicker of joy crosses his face at seeing her standing on his door step before it was replaced by anger and pain when he remembered why he hadn't seen her in almost a month.

Standing in the hall way, she took in his appearance and Lanie was right, he did look like hell.

He must have recently showered because he looked freshly shaven and she couldn't smell any alcohol which was a good sign, but that was wear the good things stopped. His clothes were far too big for him which was frightening judging by the way he used to fill them out. His face was pale and he had really dark bags under his eyes, probably from the lack of sleep. Finally she came to rest on his eyes and it broke her heart to see that the usual brilliant blue that usually resided their, filled with such joy and love, was dull, filled with nothing but pain and anger.

"Hi." She finally managed to say in a whisper, realizing that she hadn't said anything since he opened the door.

"Detective Beckett." Castle said rather coolly.

"Uh, can I come in?" Kate asked hesitantly.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." Castle said.

"Please Rick. I need to talk to you." Kate said, her voice shaky and vulnerable.

Opening the door a little wider, Castle motioned for her to come in, closing the door behind him when she entered before walking past her and facing her, a good distance apart.

"Well." Castle said, obviously thinking that this was going to be a brief conversation seeing as how he didn't offer her a seat and she was pretty much still standing by the door.

"I miss you." Kate started, only to be cut off with a bitter laugh by Castle.

"I'm sure you do. If that's all you have to say then you can see yourself out." Castle hissed.

"Castle, I want my partner back, I need my partner." Kate said, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Yeah, well we don't always get what we need, do we?" Castle said, looking everywhere but her.

"Castle stop, just listen to me." Kate said, her anger rising.

"Listen to you Kate? The last time I listened to you I though I understood. I thought that I was the one that you wanted to be with. I thought that I was the one that was helping you break down those walls so that you could have a relationship with me. I thought that I was the one waiting for you, that when we talked on the swings, you were telling me that you just needed time, that you felt the same way about me, but you just needed time, so I have it to you, but it turns out that I was wrong, that I wasn't the one you wanted so no I don't have to listen to you." Castle spat.

While Castle was yelling, he was moving forward towards her and Kate, being the stubborn woman she was, refused to move back so now Castle was in her personal space, her breasts brushing against his stomach as he looked down at her, their heaving breaths mingling, mouths inches away from each other.

All it took was Kate briefly flicking her eyes down to his lips before flicking back up to his eyes for the dam to break and the next thing she knew, Castle's mouth was on hers and she was being pushed up against the door as their tongues frantically explored each others mouths with all the pent up anger and sexual tension from over the years.

When oxygen became a necessity, Castle broke apart, resting his forehead on hers, his hands on either side of her body, keeping her from running.

"Tell me you don't want this and I'll stop. Tell me that you don't feel what I feel. If you can honestly tell me that you have absolutely no feelings for me, that you don't love me too and this guy I saw you kissing in the precinct is who you want to be with, then I will let you leave this apartment right now and I promise you will never have to hear from me again, that you will never have to worry about me getting in the way ever again." Castle said as he leaned forward to capture her lips one more time. "You have to tell me Kate, I'm not going to stop unless you tell me to stop."

The room was silent for what seemed like forever, their heavy breaths the only sounds in the room before Kate looked at him through her long eyelashes, her eyes dark with arousal, lips swollen and pink from the kiss.

"Don't stop." She whispered. "I don't want you to stop."

Castle's mouth was on hers in a second, his tongue immediately begging for access as his hands made their way down to her waist pulling her flush against him so she could feel exactly what she did to him.

At the feeling of his arousal pressing into her stomach, Kate let our a deep, guttural moan as Castle's mouth made his way down to her neck, sucking and nipping at her pulse point as his hand made their way to the front of her blouse, quickly making work of the buttons before pushing it off her shoulders and discarding it onto the floor.

Finding her mouth once again once her shirt was off, his hands made their way down her back until they came to rest on her ass, giving it a gentle squeeze which caused Kate to gasp in delight before he continued downwards, his large hands finding her thighs where he proceeded to lift her up until she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Without breaking the kiss, he made his way into his bedroom, where he set Kate down on the edge of the bed before leaning down to capture her mouth once again, her back arching as he took one of her breasts in his hand, which allowed him to quickly dispose of her bra before kissing his way down to her breast, taking one of her nipples in his mouth while he quickly unbuttoned her pants before breaking away to pull them off along with her panties before quickly discarding his clothes too leaving them both stark naked.

Leaning forward, he ran his tongue through her arousal once, causing her hips to buck before he positioned himself at her entrance and thrust into her with one swift stroke.

"God Kate, you're so tight and so wet." Castle growled as he began to thrust into her, unable to control the bucking of his hips.

As his thrusts sped up, it was only a matter of time before he felt her clench around him, her back arching as she moaned in pleasure as her orgasm washed over her, Castle following her with one more thrust.

After they both caught their breaths, Castle gently pulled out of her and made his way into the bathroom to quickly clean up and get them a glass of water.

However, when he returned, Kate was making her way around the room pulling on her clothes.

"Where are you going?" Castle asked.

"I'm going home Castle. We shouldn't have done this, I'm in a relationship." Kate said.

"No Kate." Castle said, setting the water down on the dresser. "You don't get to say this was a mistake because we both know that it wasn't."

"Castle…" Kate huffed.

"No. You can either get out of the clothes and get in that bed and stay here where I can wake up with you in my arms and make you breakfast, or you can walk out that door. But if you walk out that door, that's it. You don't get to come back and I'm not going to come find you. That's it." Castle said as he made his way to the bed, crawling under the covers, not wanting to face her if she left.

It was probably only a couple of minutes, but it felt like hours before Castle felt the bed next to him dip as Kate climbed in. Rolling over, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back flush against his chest, burying his nose in her hair before whispering I love you before his breathing evened out and he fell asleep.

All Kate could think about was those three words.

I love you.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

The next morning, Kate woke up to an empty bed. At first she was confused about where she was, but then the previous night came flooding back to her.

Quickly sitting up, she saw her clothes neatly folded on the edge of the bed with a note on top of them.

Making sure she was covered with a sheet in case Castle was lurking somewhere and came back, Kate leaned forward and snatched the note of the top of the clothes.

_Kate, _

_I know that right now you are probably freaking out and the only thought running through your mind was that last night was a mistake, but it wasn't. _

_Just try and remember how right everything felt when you let your heart do the talking. _

_I had to take Alexis to school, but I figured that it was probably a good thing. I don't want to overwhelm you, but I can't keep waiting around for you, especially when my feelings for you are so strong so you have to make a choice._

_I know that you need time to think, so I'm giving you three days to decide what you want. If you want me, if you want to give us a chance, then you know where I am. If I don't see you in three days, then I know that you made your choice and that choice wasn't me. _

_Just whatever you decide, wherever we end up just remember one thing. _

_Last night wasn't a mistake for me. If that one night is all I get, I will treasure it forever because it will be a reminder of the life we could have had. You are more than a one night kind of girl, Kate. You are a one and done type of girl and while I wish I could tell you that you're my one and done, I made mistakes in my past that prevent that from happening, but what I can tell you is that you are my Always. _

_No matter what happens, no matter what you decide, I will love you until the day I die, KB because you are truly extraordinary. _

_Rick. _

Taking a deep breath, Kate reread the note before getting up and deciding that she should get dressed.

As she made her way out of the loft, she knew that she needed someone to talk to and that person was Lanie.

Making a stop at home first to change her clothes and take a shower, Kate made her way to the morgue, knowing that Lanie was working, the note Castle had left her neatly folded in her pocket, already showing the signs of being well read.

"Hey Lanie." Kate said as she walked into the morgue.

"Hey girl." Lanie said, looking up at her friend, immediately noticing the look on her face. "You talked to him, didn't you?"

"Yeah and Ikindasleptwithhim" Kate said, rushing out the last part so her friends couldn't understand her.

"What was that?" Lanie asked.

Kate let out a sigh of frustration. "I slept with Castle."

"It's about time! Wait, why are you here and not in bed with him for round two?" Lanie asked.

Kate just pulled out the note and handed it to her friend watching her while she read it.

When Lanie was done, she folded it back up and studied her friend.

"You got to be kidding me." Lanie said.

"What?" Kate asked, confused at the friends sudden outburst.

"You are seriously considering turning him down?" Lanie asked, eyebrows raised.

"It's complicated, Lanie." Kate said.

"Girl, you need to get your head out of your ass and wake up. The only reason it is complicated is because YOU are making it complicated. This man loves you and would literally do anything for you. He watched you kiss another man and yet he is still giving you another chance when he had every right to shut you out of your life forever. When Castle isn't around, you aren't yourself. You are a shell of the woman you are when he is here. He is the one that you need to be with, he is the one that you've always needed to be with and don't give me any of this crap about it not working out because if it doesn't work out between you and Castle, then girl there is no hope for the rest of humanity because you two are destined to be together." Lanie said.

"Lanie…" Kate said with a slight warning to drop it.

"No, enough is enough. End it with this Mark guy and then get your skinny little ass over to Castle's and get your man because if you don't he is going to leave. There is no in between, there is no waiting until you're ready, there's none of that. If you don't jump in with him right now, you are going to lose him forever and I'm going to have to pick up the pieces." Lanie said.

"I don't know." Kate said, still hesitant.

"Give me your phone." Lanie said, holding out her hand.

"What?" Kate asked, confused.

"Give me your phone." Lanie repeated.

Kate pulled out her phone and gave it to the ME who immediately pulled up the contacts and scrolled down until she found who she was looking to.

"Lanie what are you doing?" Kate hissed.

"Hi Mark. Yeah, you don't know me, but I'm Kate's best friend, Lanie. Kate needs to talk to you. Oh, you're in the building? Great! Do you see the Hispanic man sitting at the desk right in front of Kate's desk? Good. Ask him to bring you down to the morgue, okay? Okay, see you soon honey." Lanie said as she hung up the phone.

"Lanie what are you doing?" Kate hissed again.

"I'm ending this right here and now, you better get your shit together because Mark is on his way down here and you are ending things with him." Lanie said as the distant sound of the elevator opening carried into the morgue followed by Esposito and Mark a few seconds later.

"Kate? What's going on?" Mark asked looking just as confused as Esposito.

"Uh, nothing." Kate said only to be hit on the back of the head by Lanie.

"Girl, don't make me smack you." Lanie hissed.

Kate sighed. "Mark, I'm really sorry, but I don't think this is going to work out."

"What? Is it something I did?" Mark asked.

"No. You were perfect." Kate said.

"Then what is it?" Mark asked.

"I… I'm… I'm in love with someone else, I've been in love with someone else for a long time and I tried to deny my feelings for them, but I think that I've finally realized that its always been him and it's always going to be him." Kate said.

"Oh." Mark said.

"I'm really sorry." Kate said and she was, it wasn't fair for her to drag him into this when deep down, she knew that she had feelings for Castle.

"It's okay. I should have realized that this wasn't going anywhere when you kept turning me down when I asked you to come up for coffee." Mark said.

With one final goodbye, Mark turned around leaving Kate, Esposito, and Lanie in the morgue.

"Chica, what's going on?" Esposito asked Lanie, looking slightly confused.

"Why don't you ask our girl here." Lanie said with a smile.

"Beckett?" Esposito asked.

"I love Castle, I'm in love with Castle." Kate said a slight smile on her face realizing that it really wasn't all that scary admitting it.

"It's about time!" Esposito said with a huge grin on his face.

"Shut up." Kate said as her smile grew.

"Never. But what are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be at Castle's?" Esposito asked.

"She's heading there right now." Lanie said.

"Don't you think I should wait?" Kate said.

"Girl, you've waited long enough, go get your man!" Lanie said shoving her out the door and towards the elevator. "Just be honest Kate. He already loves you, the easy part is over, just tell him how you feel."

Kate didn't get a chance to answer before the doors to the elevator door shut and she was left in nothing but silence and her own thoughts.

It figured that on the night she could use a little more time, the streets were practically deserted and she didn't get stopped at a single red light, making it to Castle's in record time.

Making her way to the loft, she knocked on the door expecting Castle to open the door, but instead was greeted by Alexis.

"Detective Beckett." Alexis said in a cool voice quiet similar to the one her father had the other day when he opened the door. It would figure that she would know that her father's drastic mood change had to do with her.

"Hi Alexis. Is your dad home?" Kate asked.

"Yes." Alexis said.

"Can I talk to him?" Kate asked.

"Why? So you can break his heart all over again." Alexis asked.

"No." Kate said.

"Then why do you want to talk to him?" Alexis asked.

"Because I want to tell him that I'm in love with him, that I've always been in love with him and while it took me almost loosing him to realize it, he's it for me, he's my one and done." Kate said.

Alexis eyed her curiously, trying to decide if the detective was lying, but she must have determined that she was telling the truth because she stepped aside to let her in.

"He's in the office." Alexis said before disappearing up the stairs.

Taking a deep breath, she made her way to the door she knew led to his office, knocking lightly.

"Mother, I'm not in the mood for one of your lectures right now." Castle said.

"It's not your mother." Kate said as she pushed the door open, watching as Castle's head snapped up.

"Kate? What are you doing here? Did you forget something?" Castle asked.

"Yes." Kate said.

"What did you forget?" Castle said, standing up, clearly intending to head to the bedroom to look for whatever she was missing.

"You." Kate said, which stopped Castle in his tracks as he turned to look at her.

"Me?" Castle asked, eyeing her skeptically.

"Yes, you." Kate said a smile on her face.

"What are you saying?" Castle asked.

"What I'm saying is that I love you Rick. I've always loved you and it's taken me far too long to realize it, but I'm here and all I want is you." Kate said, barely getting her sentence out before Castle's lips were descending on hers.

"I love you Katherine Beckett." Castle whispered.

"I love you too, Richard Castle."

_Author's Note: Well there you go. My little idea and now I feel much better getting it out, so let me know what you think. _


End file.
